دانلود رمان انگلیسی “بازی جدید نوجوان هایبارا” – جلد 5

I couldn’t do a thing. I had impulsively grabbed Natsuki by the collar, but when he apologized to me with that look on his face, I couldn’t keep my fist clenched. He hadn’t done anything wrong to begin with—I’d just gotten riled up on my own. I was the one who’d suppressed my own feelings, entrusted the problem to Natsuki without even asking how he felt, and then ended up feeling betrayed by his decision. But all he had done was be true to his heart, and as a result, he chose not Uta, but Hoshimiya. My anger was misdirected. And in the first place, none of this had anything to do with me. I knew that. I understood it perfectly well. Logically speaking, that is. But I couldn’t lie to myself. I felt murky inside, my emotions a jumbled mess too complicated to put into words. I couldn’t even say anything decent while Uta cried. All I could do was stay by her side, and I didn’t even know if I was doing that for her sake. If anything, I’d acted entirely out of self-gratification. I just wanted to do whatever I could, no matter how trivial. It was a shitty mistake to begin with. Who was I to entrust Natsuki with anything? I must’ve given him more baggage. And because of that, even if he had chosen Uta, he wouldn’t have truly been happy. And above all, somewhere in the depths of my heart, a part of me had wanted this to happen. I was the lowest of the low. I was disappointed in myself. That’s why, at the very least, I wanted to become a better person. At the school festival, when Natsuki sang on the stage surrounded by tons of spectators, he seemed like he was from a totally different world. Even if I looked away from that dazzling sight, I could still hear his voice.